How can you know whether your partner simply needs more time or whether they'll never commit? A psychologist weighs in:
There comes a point in your relationship when you want a commitment. Hopefully, you and your partner reach that point at the same time. But if you get there first, how can you know whether your partner simply needs more time or whether they'll never commit?
You can start with an honest conversation about your feelings and desires for the relationship. This is, of course, best approached as a discussion rather than an ultimatum. Pay attention to your partner’s verbal and nonverbal response. If they quickly change the subject or seem to be backing out of the room as you talk, consider the message they are giving. Also, if they don’t spontaneously offer their thoughts and feelings, be sure to ask… but then again, that might also be a sign.
When your partner seems less than direct, or you are not sure that they are being truthful about their desire for a committed relationship, you may find the answer in their priorities.After the initial excitement of a new relationship fades, the intensity typically also lessens. However, if your partner stops following through on promises to call, get together, or do particular things together, this might be a sign of what your ongoing relationship will be like.
While you would definitely benefit from paying attention to these signs while dating, you don’t need to be deep into a relationship to notice them. Also, if you see any of them, don’t just assume that the relationship can’t work out. There could be reasons for any particular sign, or the person might be open to change. However, don’t ignore them either.
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