A decade ago, LPGA Tour veteran Christina Kim spoke publicly about her experience with depression. Today, Kim wants to end the stigma surrounding mental health and embrace her newfound strength. Content warning: This piece includes discussion of suicide.
It wasn't until I was in my darkest of nights that I could fully understand what my mother meant when she uttered those words. Of course, it could be viewed in various ways. At times, I thought it just meant that the world is going to carry on with or without you. But I don't view it that way anymore. I look upon it more as when you're in the darkest depths, just remember that there will come a time when things get better.
The next day, I got on the phone with Dr. Bruce Thomas, the medical director of the LPGA and one of the few people that I held in my circle of trust. I wasted no time and got right to it."Dr. Thomas, something's not right," I said. He told me that he wasn't going to be a sports psychologist. He wasn't going to tell me about my emotions. Instead, he talked to me about the chemistry of my body.
I had to learn how to slow down and focus on the small victories. Some days those small victories are waking up, getting out of bed -- little things like that. The small victories can turn a crappy day into an OK day. And sometimes they'll take the OK day to a decent day and then sometimes the decent day turns into a good day. And by the end of the week, I'll look back and go,"Did I have seven decent days in a row? Yeah, all right.
I always say that very few sports are as analogous to life than golf because you can prepare, do everything"right," drive down the middle of the fairway and still end up in a divot. Sometimes it just doesn't matter what you do. Life, like divots, happen. And when playing golf during the depths of my darkness, I wanted to pretend like everything was OK but it wasn't. I was known for my outfits, my big personality, my laugh on the golf course.
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