Two people share their stories of confusion and loss as well as helpful tips on how to navigate the world after an unexpected dementia diagnosis.
Anitra Mostacero was an over-achiever. She joined the Air Force at the age of 19 and rose the ranks to become a Senior Master Sergeant. Along the way, she earned a bachelor’s degree, an MBA and several certifications.
She had other concerning symptoms. Sometimes she could hear people talking in her house, even though she was alone and her dog wasn’t alarmed. When outside, she saw birds aggressively flying towards her head. The swooping birds felt real, but others confirmed they didn’t see anything. There was nothing there.
After joining several support groups, Mostacero saw people in advanced states of cognitive decline. “That’s when it hit me that I have something that is a terminal disease. That’s when I realized why he was so sad for me when he told me,” she says.Mostacero’s neurologist told her to expect five to eight good years before her cognitive decline. The news was devastating.
She retired from the Air Force and moved from Texas to Idaho to be closer to her adult son, who is newly married and expecting a baby with his wife. With her move, Mostacero intentionally decluttered and downsized. She says that having a smaller, neater space is helpful for finding objects that she knows she will misplace on a daily basis. “The less things you have, the less places you have to lose things,” she says.
She keeps detailed notes of her days, and on some days, it is the only way she can remember what she did. When asked if she would likely remember being interviewed for this article in a few weeks’ time, she said her short-term memory was “spotty” and that she might not. If she needed a reminder, she says she would check her notes or her sent email folder. “I have a lot of tools to bridge the gap when my memory fails,” she says.
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