'A silent hell': The night Andrew Luck broke down, and what he regrets about his retirement

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'A silent hell': The night Andrew Luck broke down, and what he regrets about his retirement
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One night in Holland, Andrew Luck finally broke and he couldn’t fathom how he found himself here.

Mackenzie Salmon highlights the biggest risers and fallers in this week's NFL power rankings.For years, after he walked away, Andrew Luck became an invisible part of the world in which he’d once been a hero. Instead of practicing at the Indianapolis Colts' complex, he walked by and took his daughter to soccer practice. The film room in the house he’d built in Indianapolis became an office. The physical therapy room turned into a guest room.

But whatever he pursues next, he’ll do it with a different perspective – one that only comes through experiences that left the former NFL quarterback living in,One night in Holland, Andrew Luck finally broke. Willem Kramer, a trainer, suggested Luck and his then-girlfriend Nicole Pechanec get away for a while. Off he went, to the Netherlands.He wasn't sleeping well, he was in pain, he was fighting with Nicole, the team was halfway across the globe without him, and if he stopped to examine his life, the entire world he had constructed might start to unravel, perhaps revealing it to be fatally flawed all along."I understood myself best as a quarterback," Luck says.

After about a few weeks in Holland, Luck started to see a professional therapist. And Kramer started to serve not only as a trainer but as a couple's counselor of sorts, trying to teach Andrew and Nicole about communication and identity, both as individuals and as a unit. One day, Kramer asked Luck,"Aren't you more than a quarterback?""I mean, that's fine – I guess. What you do on the field is amazing.

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