Childbirth made sex painful for Ruth, and Lawrence felt rejected. An operation has made intimacy easier but the relationship still bears the psychological scars
But it stems from the fact that I had an episiotomy when I was in labour with my daughter, which means the doctor made an incision in my vagina to make it easier for me to give birth. When Lawrence and I started having tentative sex about 12 weeks after our baby was born, penetration caused me terrible pain. My midwife implied I was being hysterical and making the pain up.
I feel stronger in myself since hitting my 50s, and I think I’ve got better at communicating about sex After the episiotomy, any time Ruth and I tried to be intimate, she said it felt like an internal friction burn. We tried extensive foreplay and avoiding penetration, but often Ruth would want to stop in the middle of that because she feared pain.
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