A flight with Ryanair is to be endured rather than enjoyed – cheap cross-continental trips come with some of the tightest seats in the sky.
A Ryanair Boeing 737 Max touching down at Manchester airport. From Cyprus to the UK is one of the longest internal flights in Europe.Five hours, 10 minutes. Despite a 38-minute delay in departure, the plane makes up time in the air and lands two minutes ahead of schedule.Theoretically, passengers can simply waltz through departures with a pre-printed boarding pass. But on this flight from Cyprus’ popular holiday resort town, almost everyone is checking in bags for a hefty extra fee of €34.
For anything bigger – including larger cabin bags that go in the overhead locker – you need to pay. Fees vary according to the package you book, the size of the bag, whether you prepay online and possibly whether Venus is in retrograde.MyRyanair scarcely counts as a loyalty scheme. It does little more than save your details for quicker bookings, offer occasional scant discounts on hotel rooms and give members early access to sale details.
This is excruciatingly tight on one of the longest flight routes in Europe. Knees are jammed hard against the ridged plastic of the seat in front, making the journey an exercise in endurance. The seats are hard, with a vague, distant ancestral memory of cushioning, and don’t recline. There’s a tray table, but no seatback pocket. As for luxuries such as USB ports, screens and head pillows, forget it.Some would have you believe that Ryanair’s service is somewhere between surly and snarling, but this isn’t the case. Don’t go expecting effusive smiles either, though. The crew are just doing their jobs, like they were stacking shelves in a supermarket or washing a car.
The real-world menu, as in what’s actually stocked on the cart, is much feebler. An awful lot has mysteriously disappeared. When we try to buy fruit juice for the children, all that’s left is water or Coke. “Oh, and it’s only Coke Zero – is that OK?”When booking, Ryanair offers the opportunity to offset carbon emissions, with an estimated 229 kilograms of CO2 per passenger produced on this flight. That’s €5.48 to fully offset.
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