All I wanted was to be a mom, but adopting a 3 year old was harder than I expected.
With every tantrum, I worried that the bonding that needed to happen was never going to happen. I made lists to alleviate my anxiety and to put some structure into my days—places we could go, things we can do throughout the day, tasks and chores I needed to do, and little inspirational messages that I stuck on post-it notes throughout the house to remind myself that “I am enough.” Nothing worked.
After about two months, I reached out for help. The Adopt4Life organization connected me with two adoptive parents who were kind enough to offer me some support through text and email but I. I eventually connected with a therapist who worked specifically with adoptive families and recognized that I was dealing with early symptoms of Post-Adoption Depression , a disorder that I had never heard of during my years researching about adoption.
Reaching out for professional help, connecting with Adopt4Life and other adoptive families, and being honest about what I was feeling with family and friends helped slowly. It took time but after a while, my son and I began to settle into some regular daily routines and my negative self-talk slowly diminished. I started to enjoy our quiet days together, walking hand in hand to the park, doing arts and crafts, playing trains, and reading stories.
Remote learning challenged us like many families with young children as P and I tried to figure out how I was going to teach online while supporting him as a virtual learner in senior kindergarten but I would say it sped up our bonding journey. Adoption wasn’t easy but being a parent can open, expand, and break your heart all at the same time and I don’t know of any other life experience that has impacted me the same way.P is bright, joyful, and incredibly funny.
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