“I might be selfish in lots of ways, but my ambivalence about becoming a mother is not one of them.”
The funny thing is, I sort of thought having a dog made me less selfish. We got him from a rescue centre , and half my life is predicated around whether he’s lonely, or hungry, or bored. After all, does not “a righteous man cares for the needs of his animal?” That’s a proverb, by the way. I googled it.
The Pope is hardly the only person to cast aspersions on the childless, so I don’t know why I’m taking his words so personally. I’m not even Catholic, I could just ignore it. But most childless people will face a slew of judgements or questions about why they haven’t procreated during their lives, even if it’s just a pointedly concerned face from an aunt at Christmas when the lack of a baby at the dinner table becomes too much for her to physically bear.
Social media reacted to this holy opinion with predictable gusto. Did he ever consider overpopulation? was a popular refrain. Was he going? many asked.
I go back and forth on whether I should have a child, constantly thinking about it and talking the issue over with my husband. We take the question seriously – I think even the Pope would approve of how much we’ve agonised over it. There are so many questions in my head about motherhood, so many anxieties and unknown consequences, and yet not once have I ever thought “hoo boy I’m glad I have this stupid Labrador to make this impossibly complicated decision easy”.
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