Ignore the trad wife influencers: wanting or needing space from your child is not just normal, but healthy for both of you, says Guardian columnist Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett
Ignore the trad wife influencers – wanting or needing space from your child is not just normal, but healthy for both of youollecting my son from nursery is my favourite part of the day. He’s usually in the garden, and there’s a moment just before I say his name when I like to watch him, unnoticed. Then he’ll hear my voice and will turn and run into my arms, smiling. Motherhood has taught me to appreciate the privilege of being loved this much, and of loving so much.
Trad wife influencer accounts such as Neeleman’s have helped normalise a version of motherhood where a woman’s sole purpose is to nourish her sourdough starter and serve her family. But anti-childcare dogma can be found in other places, too. Many of these accounts claim to be hubs for “conscious parenting”, yet bear little resemblance to Dr Shefali Tsabary’s parenting philosophy, which advocates parental self-awareness and emotional self-regulation.
No sensible, educated person requires me to repeat to them the social, developmental and educational benefits of a good nursery school. Any doctrine that encourages reduced choice for families by forcing mothers to stay at home with the children should be recognised as the regressive ideology it is.
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