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Kat Rae, an Australian army veteran, and Mursal Azizi, an Afghan refugee, became friends and created the exhibition Sparks in the Dark, now showing at Melbourne's Shrine of Remembrance, featuring 260 embroidered handkerchiefs made by women in Afghanistan.
Kat Rae, 45, an Australian army veteran who served in Afghanistan, and Mursal Azizi, 33, an Afghan refugee, met for coffee in February 2025 and formed a friendship that changed both their lives.
Sparks in the Dark Exhibition Opens
The pair, both artists, have created a joint exhibition called Sparks in the Dark, now showing at Melbourne's Shrine of Remembrance. The exhibition features 260 handkerchiefs embroidered by women living in Afghanistan, one for each week since the Taliban came to power in 2021. Kat served in the Australian Army for 20 years and did two tours in Afghanistan. Her husband also served there and died by suicide in 2017 on August 16.
Kabul fell on August 15, four years later, and the closeness of the dates was overwhelming for her. Kat wondered if Afghans would be mad at her or feel that Australians had let them down, but Mursal was just grateful. Mursal fled Kabul after the Taliban came to power in 2021. Kat said a friend introduced her to Mursal in February 2025 and they met at a cafe in North Fitzroy.
She said they connected straight away as artists and as people with a connection to Mursal's homeland. Mursal told Kat she felt lonely, which was painful for Kat to hear because as a widow she knew that feeling. Mursal wanted to find a way to help the women over there. Kat loves people with a mission and art that makes a statement, and hates the collateral damage of war, so they started working together.
Shared Grief and Afghanistan Connection
At the opening of the exhibition, Kat recited the words They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old from For The Fallen by Laurence Binyon. The poem is read every Anzac Day, but this time the people were not silent. Afghans were crying, their grief raw. Mursal gave Kat a hug and asked where she had found those words, saying they were perfect.
Mursal said the poem represents hamdard, which means shared grief, a shoulder-to-shoulder connectedness. Kat said Australians are not very good at expressing grief and are more likely to ask how they can get you back on your feet. But she said there is something beautiful about expressing grief together and trying to do some good with it. Seeing how the war affected her husband, losing him and cracking open with grief, makes her empathetic to people going through something similar.
As a sole parent in Melbourne, Kat finds she connects more with offbeat families including migrant families, widowed families or those impacted by domestic violence. She always connected with the depth and warmth of the Afghan people and missed their openness when she returned to Australia. She described Mursal as kind and generous. Mursal invited Kat round for lunch one day and it was a huge banquet.
She had been slaving away in her little kitchen. She made a spiced milk pudding called firni that Kat first tried in Kabul. Mursal knew Kat loved it and surprised her by cooking it for the first time. Kat cried because she was moved.
She said making it was part of Mursal's fight to hang on to something that should be her birthright. Kat said she is glad and proud to be one of Mursal's first Melbourne friends. She loves seeing her flourish as an artist and a mother. She is also grateful that her daughter and partner get to know Mursal and her family.
She tells them how cool these people are, how amazing their food is and how important their art and stories are. Mursal said she was lonely when she was introduced to Kat. She said Kat had been twice in Afghanistan and is an artist too, which made it comfortable to talk to her. As a newcomer to Australia, Mursal feels the differences between herself and people here.
Supporting Afghan Women Artists
She said Australians savour and enjoy life and think about entertainment, while Afghans think about survival, their challenges and how they can mitigate risks. Mursal said with Kat she felt understood and knew Kat would understand what she says and who she is. Mursal was working with female embroiderers in Afghanistan and had some samples of their work. She wanted to exhibit them in Australia.
She showed Kat and told her she wanted to do something to help them. Kat said she could help and they could do the project together. Mursal agreed. The next day Kat called her and they went to meet her mentor, talk about the project and apply for grants.
Mursal said if she had been doing it by herself maybe it would have happened, but it became very real very quickly with Kat. The kind of deep friendship they have usually develops over years, but it happened fast with an intense and big connection as they worked on the exhibition. Mursal said she is a person of ideas and Kat made it real. The Australian system is new to Mursal and Kat understands how to take it forward.
Friendship and New Family Bonds
Kat even invited the Governor-General to the opening. Mursal said they complete each other in a way. Mursal was pregnant with her first child, her daughter Sarah, as they worked on the exhibition. Kat drove her places, found her a midwife to talk to and made her fresh food including broccoli with cheese, which was something new for Mursal.
One day Kat was driving her home and Mursal told her she was afraid about her baby coming and that she would be a full-time mum and would not be able to do her art. Kat told her she thinks her daughter Imogen is proud that she became an artist rather than losing herself in motherhood. Mursal said that is always in her ears and on her mind.
Sarah is nine months old now and Mursal feels she needs a mother who follows her dreams. One day when Mursal was pregnant they went to an Afghan restaurant in Lygon Street with five of them: Mursal's husband, Asad, Kat's partner, Mark, and Imogen. Being together as families, Mursal felt closer to Kat; it was real. Kat likes the kebabs they do, with the meat and the fat together on a skewer. It was one of her favourite foods in Afghanistan.
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theage:An Australian army veteran and an Afghan refugee met for coffee. What happened next changed both their lives 
brisbanetimes:An Australian army veteran and an Afghan refugee met for coffee. What happened next changed both their livesThis story was compiled and edited by the HeadTopics newsroom and HT AI from the reports above.
Kat Rae Mursal Azizi Friendship Afghanistan War Veterans Afghan Refugee Artists Shrine Of Remembrance Melbourne Kat Rae Mursal Azizi Afghan Refugee Friendship
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