Valentine’s Day isn’t an excuse to stay in a bad relationship.
Panic set in this week when I feared I was slipping into a hypoglycemic coma. I was about to rush off to emergency when it dawned on me that it was simply an overdose of sugary-sweet Valentine’s Day sentimentality.
If you’re in a happy, loving, long-term relationship, still doing the horizontal tango and laughing at each other’s jokes, well, you’ve won life’s lottery. But from honeymoon to tomb can be a very long time to find each other’s anecdotes interesting – and vice versa. Sometimes the light of your life can turn out to be a bad match.
So, how to break the news? When he asks, “What’s up?” why not just reply: “The warranty on our marriage.” Explain that you’ll always love. It’s just his life philosophy, infidelity, male pseudo-feminism and/or rotten, dirty-dingo lying you can’t tolerate. Still, you’ll always cherish the initial misconceptions you had about him – the two-faced worm. When he whines, “Where did our love go?” simply answer, “To the charity shop, with the rest of your stuff.
When he tells you he wants a divorce, you’ll feel sick to your stomach. Was it something you ate? Yes, your wedding cake.
Australia Latest News, Australia Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Kimberley Diverges on Australia Day, Embracing Survival Day and NeutralityAboriginal organizations and residents in Western Australia's Kimberley region are taking diverse approaches to this year's Australia Day, with some calling for a date change, others marking Survival Day, and one council choosing neutrality.
Read more »
Australia Day 2025: Thousands Protest at 'Invasion Day' RalliesThousands gathered in capital cities across Australia for 'Invasion Day' protests and events, marking Australia Day with calls for truth-telling, resistance, mourning, and solidarity with Indigenous Australians. Demonstrations took place in Sydney's Haymarket and Melbourne's CBD, disrupting traffic and drawing large crowds.
Read more »
Tens of thousands join Invasion Day rally as Melbourne marks Australia DayJanuary 26 means different things to different people. Some protested the day, while others just wanted to enjoy the sunshine.
Read more »
Australia Celebrates National Day Amidst Smaller Invasion Day Turnout and Unofficial Election CampaignAustralians marked National Day with awards recognizing outstanding citizens and a smaller presence at Invasion Day rallies. Simultaneously, an unofficial election campaign gained momentum. Sky News provided comprehensive coverage of the events, featuring live and on-demand broadcasts, analysis from prominent figures, and dedicated election coverage.
Read more »
Australia Day Protests to Clash with CelebrationsAs millions celebrate Australia Day with beach trips and barbecues, tens of thousands are expected to protest on 'Invasion Day', marking the anniversary of the arrival of the First Fleet in 1788. Police are prepared for both celebrations and demonstrations, with the national day coinciding with the Australian Open men's final.\Protesters will gather in major cities across Australia, demanding recognition of Indigenous sovereignty and a change in how the day is commemorated. Organisers argue that January 26 is not a day to celebrate, but a day of mourning and remembrance for the dispossession and impact of colonisation on Indigenous Australians.
Read more »
Australia Day long weekend forecast: Warm and sunny weather across the country as Victoria set for scorching temperatures and potential fire warningsHot and sunny weather is forecast for Australia Day across the country, as one state braces for extreme heat which has sparked fire danger fears.\Warm and sunny conditions are predicted over the Australia Day long weekend, with parts of Victoria set for scorching temperatures. While residents in Sydney and Perth can look forward to perfect weather on Australia Day, Melbourne will cop scorching heat on the Monday public holiday. The Victorian capital is expected to be the hottest major city on Monday with long weekend temperatures building up to reach 40 degrees before a relieving cool change could drop temperatures significantly for the city's 'four seasons in one day'.
Read more »