Dear Amy: Some of my loved ones are going through difficult times. I’m so sad. I’ve heard the term “emotionally detached,” but can’t seem to separate myself from their pain. Now it is affecting my health.
After four years of being her sole caregiver, I had to place her in assisted living memory care last year.After five months of psychotherapy and antidepressant medication I’ve finally conquered my deep guilt and sense of having failed her.
Communicating with old friends from high school will help you to reconnect with the man you once were, before this disease took so much from your family.But any person who would respond to your report of grief and loneliness by immediately implying a sexual reconnection is once again “playing your libido like a yo-yo.”
Yes, you absolutely deserve some happiness, but you should be discerning about where you are most likely to find it. Detachment is a humbling surrender to reality, and if you achieve detachment, you will start to love people “through” their painful trials, with no overwhelming attachment to a specific outcome. The frail person may not survive their illness, the house might wind up in foreclosure, or the divorce might happen, despite your efforts.No-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning.
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