Can this letter writer ask out their late friend’s wife?
My friend “Brian” passed away over three years ago. I was friends with Brian and his wife, “Marcia,” for more than 40 years.
Prior to their relationship and subsequent marriage, Marcia and I were very close friends. We never dated. We just liked each other’s company and had fun “hanging out” together. After a while, she wanted more from the relationship, but I was not ready for a long-term commitment, and shortly afterward, I moved to another state to open a restaurant. I was very happy when Brian and Marcia married; they had a great marriage, and raised two beautiful and successful children.
You don’t note whether you have kept in close touch with “Marcia” over these past three years, but in my opinion, three years after a loss might present the right moment to make your move. Life is short — but love is long. I wish you all the best.My mother recently asked my 13-year-old daughter and my 16-year-old niece if they would get matching tattoos with her once they turn 18. I do not approve of this and am wondering how I should go about telling my mother that this is not acceptable.
For now, you can weigh in to say, “I think this idea is … strange, and I wish you wouldn't do it. But that will be up to you when you're 18.”” is conflicted about whether to tell his abusive brother how he hurt him as a child. In my case it was my father. What was healing was to say, “Dad, who we are as adults is very different from when I was a child, but it is important for me to tell you how you hurt me.
My father did not apologize, but that didn’t matter to me; what mattered was me saying it, directly, openly and honestly. Thanks for your column. I read it every day, and I appreciate it.© 2023 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency.
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