Letter writer resents their mom for not listening when they explain they’re not a morning person.
First thing in the morning she wants to tell me things, or worse — ask me things. At best, I can muster a “Good morning” and a grunt, but I don’t think she’s ever understood just how much restraint is required for anything other than a snarl. She’s repeatedly accused me of being rude or mad at her, and the simple truth is that it’s not her — I just don’t want to talk in the morning, at all, to anybody.
I have been explaining this for years, and to be honest I actually feel SHE’S being rude for not respecting this simple boundary. It starts both our days off wrong, to the extent that I just stay in my room until she’s out of the house, no matter how much I need the bathroom, food or water. I’m lucky enough to not need to commute at the same time as her, so it slightly disrupts my day to get a late start, but logistically it’s manageable.Emotionally, this is creating resentment.
After rising and using the bathroom, you might retreat to your room for some quiet time. You should have something available to drink and a protein bar or similar snack on hand in your room .Take the time you need, focus on quietly and slowly waking up, try some brief meditation exercises to settle your mind and your mood, and take advantage of your schedule differences to avoid these interactions.
I agree that this is a simple boundary for others to recognize and respect. It would seem that your mother would also want to avoid unpleasant interactions in the morning, but she may be trying to change you or somehow “jolly” you out of a morning phase that you can’t successfully control.I’m in a quandary about what to do about a daughter I gave up for adoption many years ago. We recently found each other online and are very happy that we’ve reunited.
The daughter I recently found is extremely successful professionally and financially, much more so than our other kids. Should we divide our estate equally among all the kids?
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