A letter writer is considering reuniting with an abusive boyfriend with a drinking problem.
I have been in a relationship for the past eight months with a guy. Two months in, he lost his job and moved in with me and my daughter. I took care of him and helped him to get a much better job. I wake up before him, pack his lunches, do his laundry, and cook and clean up after him. He had a very bad drinking problem that would cause him to black out and act very badly.I also found out that he was connecting with other women the entire time. Eventually, he cut out all hard alcohol.
We talked on the phone for hours about how what he did was wrong and how his life was so much worse without me. I truly did love him. Although he treated me badly, we had a lot of good times. I don’t know what to do. What would you do?Please don’t ask me what I would do, because I can only think of the many things I wouldn’t do — starting with moving an unemployed and angry blackout drinker into my house with a daughter also there.
You might be able to do some deep therapeutic work to figure out why you are drawn to this situation, but in the meantime, you should do only one thing: Decide to protect your daughter from the chaos this man creates in your life.I decided to completely cut off my mother immediately after my son was born. She is an extremely toxic person who doesn’t respect any boundaries, and I decided it was more important to protect my son than try to have a relationship with her.
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