Two experts tell Woman's Hour about the key to helping relationships last.
‘People fail to recognise how the so-called ‘little things’ in relationships add up over time’
“Either it’s: My relationship partner loves me, and I can trust them because the things they do and say are constantly reinforcing that I’m seen, heard, respected, and cared for. My partner’s actions add up to the experience of feeling loved. “We need to understand our differences. Maybe tone or timing means more to one of us than the other. Maybe one of us has grown up with a reason to fear conflict or has been brought up to keep emotions hidden. If we can be curious about these aspects of each other, we can create a more bespoke way of communicating.”
“If you keep having the same argument again and again, even if it’s about the shoe on the floor, make sure you attend to it and try to understand what it’s really about. It may contain valuable information. Often it is when people give up trying this that they become indifferent to each other.”“Acknowledging the impact you have on each other can be powerful,” says Joanna. “It’s possible to say: ‘Sorry I upset you when I said that’ even if you think that what you said was the right thing to say.
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