The mental trials that come from trying to make it as a professional tennis player are often severely underrated by fans
“You get depressed for the first two days returning home and the first two days on the road, too?”
So coming home can be unsettling. Even if you’re home for only a week, it can take a few days to adjust – to see where I fit into the schedules and routines of my family, friends, and boyfriend. Just when I start to feel comfortable, it’s time to leave again. Depression and anxiety creep in. I’ll make up a hundred reasons to delay, knowing in my heart that if I want to be successful in tennis, I can’t afford to be anything but committed to my career.
When I arrive in a new country, there’s a lot to feel anxious about. I often will have a two- to three-hour car ride with a driver who doesn’t speak English. I speak Spanish, but that doesn’t always help. I have little to no cellphone service, so I ask my boyfriend to track my location, if he can, to make sure that I am actually heading to my final destination. I start to think of all the ways I would escape if I was kidnapped.
Sometimes, these friendships last. Others come and go as quickly as you bonded. I’ll never forget making friends so quickly with one girl on tour who was ranked around 250. I was somewhat honored that she cared to talk to someone without a ranking at that time. Today, she is closer to the top 100 and probably wouldn’t even look my way if we crossed paths. I’m not offended. This is how it goes on tour.
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