The head of Coles said she’d never heard the term “Colesworth”. This disappointed me.
she had never heard the term “Colesworth,” the popular way of denoting the supermarket duopoly. This disappointed me. For decades, Australians have gone to the effort of inventing jokey titles for the corporations that rule our world, only to now find the bosses were not paying attention.
After all, we have long been annoyed that the two big supermarket chains are usually in lockstep, using their dominance to minimise competition over both price and service. The contempt was turned up a notch when it came to car companies, mainly because of our need to criticise every marque than the one we happened to drive. Hence, Ford stood for “Fix or Repair Daily”, “Fast Only Rolling Downhill” or “First on Rubbish Dump”; while Holden was decoded as “Heaps of Loud Dangerous Engine Noises”, or derided by the phrase “Barely Holden together”.
Hence: KFC becomes “Kids Fattening Centre”, while McDonald’s, aside from the fond “Maccas”, is more harshly described either as “Rotten Ronnie’s” or, in its abbreviated form, as an acronym for “Most Articles Contain Copious Added Sugar.” Why have we always put such effort into coining these terms? Partly, I think, it’s a refusal to be treated like mugs.
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