Three couples tell how they keep the spark alive after decades of marriage.
Most of us can remember the rush of young love – that first look, the first date and, oh yes, that first electric kiss. But no matter how all-consuming that first love can be, research shows that for most of us the relationship is likely to be short-lived.
“Emotional maturity and having shared goals lay a solid foundation, but couples also need to know that love is not enough,” says Ferguson. “The secret to a long and successful marriage is acquiring the tools to make a conscious effort to nurture and protect a marriage. You need to cherish the relationship and show affection, appreciation and kindness towards your partner. It takes work.
The thing I love most about John is his sense of humour – he keeps me laughing every day, no matter what we’re doing. We both love hiking so we take long-distance hikes overseas and talk and giggle our way through new destinations. For our 40th wedding anniversary, we’re hoping to do a hike around Mont Blanc, or possibly take a Japanese trail. Had we married at 19, as we’d originally planned, I’m not sure we’d be here today.
We had three children in quick succession and life when our kids were young was quite sociable – we were always buzzing up and down the coast with our friends. But we had our share of mishaps too. But things changed over time and when Stephen asked me out two years later, I happily said yes. I knew he was seeing someone else at the time, so after we went on a few dates I said to him, ‘If you want to keep taking me out, you’re going to have to make a choice.’ Fortunately, he chose me and committed heart and soul to our relationship.It’s funny, but finding your life partner quite young seems to run in both mine and Stephen’s families.
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