Friendships are often seen as mere background to our romantic relationships. But in a push against the myth of “the one”, this is changing.
For as long as Hollywood has been making movies, it’s been selling us the dream of finding “the one”.
“A lot of people tend to overvalue romantic relationships,” says Dr Michelle Lim, a loneliness researcher from Swinburne University. “We tend to see them as a sign that we’ve got it together, that there’s nothing wrong with us. Historically, we haven’t applied that same significance to friendships and we’ve seen them as more of a background thing, but that’s not the case at all: good friendships are critical to our wellbeing.
“I also think knowing someone for a long time and seeing them in different stages of life – positive or negative – and watching how they handle things and grow is really beautiful. There aren’t any other relationships where you can experience that sort of intimacy while also being outside of it.” “Just being able to sit comfortably in each other’s silence or burst into tears and know that I wouldn’t have to explain anything or feel like I was a burden was really healing.”
“I always laugh when I see the end of movies where the main character has found ‘the one’, because it’s not a realistic depiction of love.”
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