Carl Jung used the term shadow to refer to the unacceptable parts of ourselves.
Assertiveness and other forceful qualities are more likely to be in the shadow for women.Carl Jung used the term shadow to denote those parts of us that are unacceptable and, therefore, must be split off and denied. Even though he developed this nearly a century ago, it continues to resonate widely and has recently gained traction onplatforms.
When we integrate shadow qualities, they become psychological capacities that we can use when necessary. This allows us to choose how to respond to a challenge thoughtfully. If we’ve engaged in shadow work, we’ll have a broader range of behavioral options from which to pick. Many times, being kind and accommodatingan effective and ethical way to relate, but if that’s the only arrow in our quiver, it may be difficult for us to put our needs first, even when doing so is appropriate and necessary.
Is there someone in your life you find very irritating? Perhaps other people also dislike this person, but your reaction is outsized. What is the most annoying thing about this person? This is likely a quality in you that feels off-limits.If you think back to your family of origin, what was the one thing you were not allowed to be? Some families discourage neediness, laziness, or pride. Others outlaw anger, sloppiness, or ordinariness.
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