| Carolyn Hax: Husband tells his mom something shared in confidence

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| Carolyn Hax: Husband tells his mom something shared in confidence
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Husband apologized for telling his mom something shared in confidence, but awkwardness still ensues.

I really didn’t think it was necessary for my husband to share something his mother didn’t need or care to know, especially because it certainly wasn’t going to help the situation. In the end, it didn’t change anything, except turn a privately awkward situation into a publicly awkward one.

In fact, it isn’t even that hard to understand. Your husband is in a lousy spot, caught between spouse and sibling. In negotiating such difficult relationships — explaining why X was strained, Y stayed home, why Z wasn’t a good idea, etc. — it’s fairly common for the wrong thing to slip out. Your husband knows you dislike his mom. You know he wants to see Mom regularly. She’s your tormentor; she’s his mommy. Both of these warrant respect.And both of you, then, need to figure out how infrequently and how frequently, respectively, you can bear seeing her.

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