Do they tell their old friend that his young new girlfriend is awkward and immature — or let their faces do it for them?
A good friend I have known since college, 20 years ago, recently started dating a woman who is about 15 years younger than he is. While that age difference is relatively significant, the gap with her emotional and social maturity is even starker. She basically moved directly from her parents’ home in another part of the country into his apartment and has no social life outside of him. Since she is very quiet, every interaction with her is totally one-sided and extremely awkward.
I hope all this for your sakes, too, I should say — because it’s hard to watch a beloved member of a tight and enduring friend circle do anything to mess with the chemistry, especially something that seems self-defeating. Even though that’s what you have to do.But not everyone will share my sympathy. Certainly not any reserved young women getting iced out because their boyfriends’ college cliques deemed them insufficiently fun.
Actually caring about friends — for who they are vs. what they do for you — means you put in the work to welcome any dates they bring who aren’t objectively offensive, cruel, rude, criminal or openly -ist. You remain mindful of how hard it is to be new among old friends and give generous benefits of doubt.
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