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First comes the deportation, then comes the dramatic retelling.
Gyllenhaal is also in impeccable condition and is more than up to the challenge of recreating Djokovic’s gruelling physical endeavours, like sitting for a nine-hour interview with Immigration.Civil Order Risk.
To keep things in the family, we’ve also reached out to Jake’s sister, Maggie, to play both of Novak’s brothers, Marko and Djordje Djokovic.Paul Giamatti would make the ideal PM on the small screen. Here’s hoping Jenny is a fan of Billions. Between late-night phone calls to Serbian Prime Minister Ana Brnabić and early morning press conferences to boast about our non-discriminatory border, Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a no-brainer forBut it’s not easy to find someone who can channel Morrison’s strange combination of Suburban Dad Energy and salesman slickness. Enter:star is as versatile as they come, and it doesn’t hurt that he already bears an uncanny resemblance to the Prime Minister.Medical exemption? Not on my watch. Upon arrival in Australia, Djokovic was questioned by Australian Border Force officers over eight hours. And while we don’t know their names or who they are, theAt one point, an agent tells Djokovic he can have “like, you know, 20 minutes – or whatever,” to provide reasons why his visa shouldn’t be revoked. Then there is the moment an agent reminds Djokovic that Australia “is pretty much governed by the federal government.” Using the transcripts, we’ve created a composite character, a fed-up Border Force officer who has no time for some fancy-schmancy tennis player with his alleged exemption. Played by Jackie Weaver, the character is tired, unhinged and just about ready to snap. Think she’s impressed by your 20 Grand Slams? You should see her playing Candy Crush on her lunch break.Ethan Hawke will have a star turn as Immigration Minister Alex Hawke. Take one look at the boyish features of 44-year-old Immigration Minister Alex Hawke, and you can’t help but be reminded of the perpetually youthful Ethan Hawke. Sometimes casting decisions are all in the name.Objection! Sustained! Australian actor Jack Thompson would be perfectly cast as Chief Justice James Allsop. Few actors can summon the respect and wisdom required to play Federal Court of Australia Chief Justice James Allsop like Jack Thompson. Gavel in hand, the legendary actor would be breathtaking in the final court scene as he upholds the cancellation of Djokovic’s visa and declares, “DEPORT! DEPORT! DEPORT!”Bernard Tomic may not have a shirt, but he definitely has Covid.Every good drama needs a solid side plot, and amidst the distraction of Novak’s detention, we also enjoyed the Bernard Tomic sideshow. The former tennis prodigy rocked up to an Australian Open qualifying match with freshly peroxided hair and proceeded to diagnose himself with COVID-19 mid-match.“I’m sure in the next two days I will test positive, I’m telling you,” Tomic said to the chair-umpire. “I will buy you [the chair-umpire] dinner if I don’t test positive in three days, otherwise you buy me dinner.” In a shock twist, Tomic did indeed test positive, which would make for a gripping finale. Having failed to qualify for the Australian Open, we’ve offered the role of Bernard Tomic to Bernard Tomic.Sometimes the best way to conquer a scandal is to lean into it, which is why Channel Seven news anchors Rebecca Maddern and Mike Amor have agreed to shoot a cameo recreating their now-infamous hot mic gaffe. Watching Maddern turn to her co-host and whisper, “Whatever way you look at it, Novak Djokovic is a lying, sneaky, a--hole,” will undoubtedly be one of the TV moments of 2022.