The author discusses the trend of people, particularly men, hiding their conservative political views on dating apps until after a connection has been made. They argue that this is a form of fraud and that such dishonesty is a growing problem in the dating landscape.
Two types of notifications fill me with the same cold dread: news alerts with headlines about the steep rise in conservative values and policies, and those fromOn my social feed, in those corners of the internet I save for bad moods and rage-bait, and through the lived experience of me and my single friends, there’s increasing anecdata about right-leaning men hiding their politics until after their profile has been swiped, a connection has been made and a bedpost has been notched.
Pretending to love camping is one thing. Lying about who you voted for to get into someone’s pants is another.Maybe these reports shouldn’t be so surprising. It’s been said that increasing numbers of men are skewing right, while women are travelling further left. Thosehappily coexisting are relics of a long, long bygone era.
How interesting that their response then isn’t to introspect, to reconsider their beliefs or seek out partners who align with them — but to just pretend. Drop “conservative” from theirTo what end? To get laid? Or is it bigger: to play sleeper agent, slink into someone’s life, meet their friends, make plans, then one day pull the rug out from under them.
It used to get under my skin. In light of this trend, though, some part of me is almost … grateful for it. At least these men make themselves known. At least they’ve dropped the mask, if only through a screen. At least they aren’t waiting for me to emotionally bond with their cat before they let their contempt for my kind seep in like carbon monoxide, turning the air toxic and suffocating us both.
Another notification from Bumble. Genevieve, we miss you, it says. Please come back. We’ve changed. I clear it from my screen. I’ll believe it when I see it.
Social Commentary DATING APPS CONSERVATISM POLITICAL VIEWS DISHONESTY RELATIONSHIPS
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