Dear Abby advises an adoptee whose biological family wants nothing to do with him, and a woman still grieving the loss of her husband.
I was adopted at 6 weeks old. My parents adopted my sister two years later. They weren’t very good parents — not abusive, but with no understanding of how to treat children. Ten years later they had a biological son, who became the center of their world, and I was pretty much left alone at a young age to raise myself.
Thirty years ago, I found my birth mother. At first she denied it, and then she acknowledged it. In a letter she wrote a few days later, she said she had wondered for 40 years what she’d do if the day came when she had to face up to what she did. She then told me never to contact her or her family again.
A few years later, against her wishes, I contacted and met her two sons. At the time, I believed we were half-brothers. She died eight years ago. Through extensive research, I have since learned who my father was. It turns out he was the father of all three of her sons! My “brothers” resemble me, and our lives are similar. They know how to contact me, but haven’t. I think they are following our mother’s wishes. I have DNA proof we are full brothers, but I don’t think they know. Should I contact them and tell them, or let the sleeping dog lie? —Dear Abby: I can’t move on from my husband’s seven-year infidelityIt’s likely that when you were born, your parents could not support and raise you, which is sad.
I realize Facebook is public, but am I wrong in thinking she shouldn’t have posted and shared it without asking permission? Am I a relic? I found it disrespectful. —I am sorry for the loss of your loved one and for your pain. The friend visited his grave because she cared for him and wanted to pay her respects. Because the visit was meaningful to her, she posted about it on FB. It’s not unusual for people to post about what they are doing.
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