Dear Abby advises a woman nursing an old flame and a person annoyed with negative news coverage.
I recently got engaged to a man I’ve been seeing long-distance for about a year. Then, out of the blue, an old military friend/crush called me and told me he has been thinking a lot about me and is working on himself. He apologized for the times he ghosted me because he couldn’t handle relationships.
We talked for two and half hours, and it was like we were back to our deployment and inseparable. It brought feelings I have never had before, but it also brought confusion and conflict. I love my fiance. He’s a great man, and a single parent. I don’t know what to say to the old flame. Can you help? —Tell the old flame you accept his apology for the multiple times he ghosted you and wish him luck in his self-improvement project, but explain that you are now engaged to a wonderful man.
Your “children” are adults. You and your former husband solved his infertility problem, and you were able to raise two healthy, contributing members of society. Because of the popularity of DNA testing, it would be better if your children heard this news from you rather than from who knows how many half-siblings they may have. Infertility isn’t shameful. Tell them what they need to know.
For some emotionally vulnerable members of our community, these negative words could be dangerous. Weather is weather. When we were kids, my friends and I would play outside in the rain and none of us ever thought of it as gloomy, dreary or miserable. Using such a powerful medium as television in this way could have a negative impact on people who are already in a dark place.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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