Dear Abby advises a woman who is struggling on how to speak about her troubled daughter and a couple growing tired of people in retirement communities.
: Our daughter has made a series of bad choices and failed relationships since she was 16. She went to college and quit , joined the Air Force and hated it, but managed to get a “general discharge.” At age 19, she had a baby with a high school dropout and violent drug abuser. They’ve had an on/off relationship. He has pushed, shoved and outright hit her, destroyed two of her phones, hit her sister and smashed her phone.
Now they are back together! We sent the police for a wellness check, and they say she is OK. As you can imagine, we are heartbroken. Our other children are doing well and keep me sane. When people ask about our kids, what do we say about her? I want something simple to end the questioning.
: When asked about your daughter, either tell the questioner your daughter is back with her boyfriend or be truthful and reveal that you are “estranged.” You do not have to go into more detail than that. You may find, to your surprise, that the questioner has a similar family situation. As to whether there’s hope that your daughter will finally reunite with the rest of the family, it may take a long time, but at some point, she may decide to do that.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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