Dear Abby advises a husband dealing with a controlling wife, and a person who is apprehensive of their brother-in-law’s fiancee.
My wife and I have been married for 37 years. We have a fairly good marriage. However, when it comes to communication, there’s a lot of room for improvement. I would very much like to get a second dog. I’m home alone all day because I am on disability; I have few friends, and my social life consists of the time and attention I give my dog, “Rascal,” a standard schnauzer.
We don’t discuss issues in our home. If my wife gives her thumbs-up, then it’s a go. If she gives a thumbs-down, it’s no-go. I don’t think there’s any reason why her refusal to get another dog should trump my desire to get one. Ideally, we should be able to sit down over a meal and collegially discuss the issue and base the decision upon what we mutually agree upon. Unfortunately, no such scenario exists.
Unless the two of you open enough lines of communication that you can be heard, nothing will change, and you will grow increasingly unhappy. If you can afford a licensed marriage and family therapist, make an appointment to talk with one about this and any other issues you and your wife can’t agree on. And I hope you are aware that you do not need her permission to get a second dog, if you are the person who will ensure it gets the love and care it needs.
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