Dear Abby advises a person who doesn’t know if they should tell their half-sister the truth about who her father is, and a widower wondering how long he should wait before moving on.
I’m 36 years old and married with three children. I have two siblings I have a good relationship with. The problem is we have a half-sister two years younger than I am who doesn’t know we exist. When my parents were married, my father had an affair with a married woman, and they conceived my half-sister.
I have struggled my entire life with sharing this information with my half-sister because I don’t want to ruin her life. My father passed away 20 years ago, so she will never have a relationship with him. My siblings also haven’t been able to bring themselves to share this information with her, and I remain torn because we are close in age, look alike and have gone into similar fields of work.
How do you think your half-sister is going to react after finding out she has been raised with a lie? Is a potential relationship with you worth the damage it may cause between her, her mother and her stepfather? If she were in need of an organ transplant, I might feel differently. Unless the reason is something equally urgent, do not intrude.I am a proud 42-year-old gay man. I was legally married to a man for four years, but we were together for 12.
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