I really need this day.
My niece’s third birthday party is on a day that I had been anticipating as my “answer to no one, no obligations” day . I had planned it well before invites went out—the RSVP was two days ago, and I have struggled to address it. This is my husband’s sister’s daughter, so it would be an in-law event. My husband has had a rough couple of months, so I’ve been carrying more of the household load , plus handling the heaviness that comes with my partner not feeling his best.
He is going to an out-of-town wedding over the weekend of the party. With him away and my older kid with her bio dad, I was looking forward to a day where I could get take out, go for a long walk, nap when my baby naps, and not have to pretend to be okay and make small talk for four hours. Parties on this side of the family also come with the obligation to bring food to contribute and sometimes even help with set up/clean up. It’s also during my daughter’s nap time.
It just sounds like so much. My heart says that I should stick to my plan of using this day to recharge. I feel burnt out on caregiving and family events. I want my husband to come back from his trip to a wife who can continue to handle our heavy life. My head says I’m being a terrible, selfish aunt if I don’t go, and that they’ll add this to the reasons why I’m “cold.” His family struggles with boundaries and values selflessness, often to the point of burn out.
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