I don’t know how to get my son the help he very obviously needs.
My husband and I are divorcing, and he is moving across the country next month. I will have primary custody of our 10- and 12-year-old boys who get along fine with one another.
I have two questions. First, what is a positive and healthy way for my 10-year-old son to think about our family’s breakup? My mantra is “I will finally be free,” and I would like a mantra for my son to think about when he is feeling bad. He and his father love each other but will now only spend time together a couple times a year, including half the summer. My son knows he is loved, and I have told him that we will get through this and time heals wounds, but it does not make him feel better.
Though your divorce may have triggered the recent conversations you and your son are having, positive messaging or a “mantra” about the divorce won’t address what seems like a broader, longer-term and more serious underlying issue. Seek treatment on your son’s behalf. Even if he’s initially unhappy about it, the right medical intervention could go a long way toward helping him feel better not just about your changing family dynamic but about his life in general.
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