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While Fanaki says that losing her husband to cancer was extremely difficult, what made things harder was the inability of others who failed to grasp the gravity of what her family was going through — her children were 16 and 14 at the time of their father’s diagnosis. Some people assume that families and caregivers can go about their daily lives despite the challenges of a serious health issue, she says, when in fact, many wish to be acknowledged and supported.
“I know what’s going on,” the neighbour said. “You don’t have to say that everything is fine, you can say it’s f****** sh**.” Fanaki says she felt seen that day. Asked what advice she would share with others, Fanaki says that she believes that treatment and self-advocacy allowed her husband to live well with the disease and gave him more time with his family.
“If you have symptoms, get yourself checked out or at least raise awareness with your family doctor,” she urges. “Adam advocated for himself and lived with the disease for three and a half years.”
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