'The pressure to create these blissful moments of awareness only adds to my panic.'
I sit on the living room floor, fumbling through a basket of miscellaneous toys, searching for my four year old’s requested Barbie with the braided hair and purple skirt. I am being intentionally aware as I play with her, enjoying and noticing her joy. My baby pulls my hair as she reaches over my shoulder for the Nerf-bullet that I have hid on the window sill, preventing her from adding it to her breakfast menu.
Well, within moments there was a bloody foot, a broken stair tread, two crying kids, and a ponytail full of peanut butter . Wood blocks were thrown, crackers embedded into the carpet, and I’m pretty certain the baby ate a miniature high-heeled shoe. And because of all of this, mothering young kids is blissful bedlam. It is curiously looking for backyard bugs and WWE cage matches. It is quietly reading fairytale stories and head-banging grocery store tantrums. It is being peppered with questions, smothered with hugs, and covered in messiness. So presence, in the yogi-sense that society encourages for us moms, is truly near impossible.
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