Everything is going terribly well as conference opens – not that the party would like you to think that
party conference. On the walls of the exhibition halls, hung outside the venue and plastered all over the main stage in Liverpool. Everything is red, white and blue. It wouldn’t surprise me if the shadow cabinet weren’t all under instructions to wear union jack pants. No one is going to accuse Labour of not loving the UK in the run-up to the next election. Vote Labour. It’s your patriotic duty.
All this is all nitpicking, though. What you really need to know is that everything is going terribly well. Not that Labour would like you to think that. They wouldn’t want you to imagine that they were enjoying the UK’s cost of living crisis and the continuing chaos of the Tories. But look at it this way. If the country was even vaguely functional, then Labour would be up against it to win the next election.
Everyone must be on their best behaviour. No sign of disagreement. Unity is everything. Labour speaks as one. Unlike the Tories who were fighting like rats in a sack. Like an opposition in disarray. There was even a stern public service announcement in the hall before proceedings got under way. Everyone should be really nice to one another. If you didn’t like what someone had said, then you should politely disagree. Not denounce them as Tories. And the conference did as it was told.
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