There are many options for handling personal questions, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith, but no matter what you say people will still be curious
‘The price for being able to have the holidays and do the nice things might be that your friends gawk a bit.’ Painting: For Better, For Worse by William Powell Frith ‘The price for being able to have the holidays and do the nice things might be that your friends gawk a bit.’ Painting: For Better, For Worse by William Powell Frith After a decades-long saga, I have finally got engaged to the love of my life.
I am finding it very hard to wriggle out of this question. I don’t like to lie outright and pretend I don’t know, but I don’t think it helps them to learn the answer and I don’t want it affecting our friendships. Any ideas? The bigger point is that when we’re confronted with personal questions, it’s not the case that the only options are to tell the truth or to mislead. There are also ways to communicate that the question isn’t one you want to answer.
So I’d have a few dismissive jokes up your sleeve, as well as a brief and firm explanation, in case of pushy friends who don’t take the hint. Practise saying these out loud, literally: actually speaking hard words does a lot to reduce the feeling that they’re in some way existentially unsayable.
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