After admitting to other Black dads he found parenting difficult, Marvyn Harrison began transforming his relationship with his kids
t was on Father’s Day, five years ago, that Marvyn Harrison sent a heartfelt message to his friends that would change his life for ever. Back then, his son was three and his daughter was six months old. And he couldn’t seem to help feeling constantly like a fake, an impostor. “I felt like I was being fraudulent,” he says.
This feeling that he alone lacked the ability to feel a deep and meaningful connection with his children had intensified when his daughter, Ocean, was born. He felt utterly inadequate. “I thought: ‘I can’t even support my wife when she’s sleeping, because their desire for her is so great.’” He questioned what he was capable of as a father, if he could not even do that. “That really affected me. It didn’t feel good.”
It was the start of a conversation about Black fatherhood that would eventually lead to a global movement. Soon, Black dads from all over the world were joining the WhatsApp group and sharing their own experiences of fatherhood. Harrison realised that many were facing the particular challenges and anxieties, often linked to racism or cultural beliefs, unique to Black fathers – and that they needed a proper platform to support each other.
Spending more time alone with each of his children – talking to them about Arsenal and his other passions, taking them on errands, going for walks and drives together and to playgroups and the cinema – he learned what being a father really meant. “It’s beautiful. But you’ve got to launch yourself into it. You will make mistakes. It won’t be easy. There will be days you don’t sleep. You’ll get thrown up on. You’ll go out somewhere and when you get there, they’ll tell you they want to go home now.
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