For modern mothers, the toxic pull of the ‘momfluencer’ feels inescapable | Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

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For modern mothers, the toxic pull of the ‘momfluencer’ feels inescapable | Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett
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From postpartum photographs to ‘golden hour’, it’s hard to remember that the perfect lives on Instagram are heavily curated, says Guardian columnist Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

From postpartum photographs to ‘golden hour’, it’s hard to remember that the perfect lives on Instagram are heavily curated‘Social media has transformed the way my generation views parenthood.’I

At least these photos were usually only shared with friends and family; now images like these have a potential audience of millions. I can’t imagine anything more exposing than putting such intimate photographs online, but the perfect postpartum photo has become as fetishised on social media as the perfect “golden hour” between mother and baby is idealised.

Other posts instruct you to breastfeed at all cost, promise you the secret to postpartum weight loss, or tell you they can solve your babies’ sleep problems. has been incredibly destructive to their mental health, and in some cases their physical health. Some hypnobirthing influencers scaremonger about medical intervention to the point where women are refusing the care they need .

As well as carrying the weight of a baby, any mother with a smartphone carries with her a portal into the #blessed lives of others, which serves to highlight – especially in a cost of living crisis where parents are struggling to feed their children – what we do not have. It can be so hard to remember that it’s all fake, that we never see the photographs of the cupboard full of junk or the child reprimanded for sticky fingers.

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