The ‘messy middle’ that follows the end of a structured work life can be unsettling and isolating – but meaning doesn’t retire when we do
‘People derive a certain sense of joy from being productive and accomplishing things and might lose this sense of joy with a lot of unstructured time,’ write Gaynor Parkin and Dave Winsborough.‘People derive a certain sense of joy from being productive and accomplishing things and might lose this sense of joy with a lot of unstructured time,’ write Gaynor Parkin and Dave Winsborough.“I thought I had it all figured out,” he said, the frustration evident in his voice.
Despite living on opposite sides of the globe and working in different industries and roles, Martin’s experiences were echoed by John, who recently stepped away from corporate life and a highly successful leadership career. “I have no regrets, I’ve succeeded, travelled and performed. But now, I feel quite lost.”For both men, the feeling of being lost has been unpleasant, unsettling and isolating.
The assumption prior to retirement that more time will automatically translate to greater fulfilment is common, but as Martin and John are finding, not necessarily true – especially when that time lacks the structure, purpose, and community that a previous work life provided.having a lot of free time doesn’t necessarily equate to happiness. People derive a certain sense of joy from being productive and accomplishing things and might lose this sense of joy with a lot of unstructured time.
“We skate around the issue and often back off, but we all sense we are in the same boat. And in any case, hanging out and obliquely touching on meaning and purpose has been heartwarming in a black humour sort of way.”Both men share the experience as a mixed bag of seemingly contradictory emotions. They both describe gratitude for being in a position to make choices, for opportunities and relationships, alongside the anxiety, frustration and sadness of a life in flux.
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