Even feminists seem to expect women who succeed in a man’s world to be caring too
– the demonisation of career women as lonely, unhappy and unlikely to get married.
What happened here is that what started as a feminist observation has overthought itself into old-fashioned misogyny. The idea that women deserve success only if they are also good, kind, nurturing people who put everyone else first is, of course, a sexist one. No other group fighting for civil rights is tasked with ensuring all other groups have civil rights first – that would be a recipe for no progress at all.
It would be nice if every woman who achieved success were a paragon of sisterly virtue. But is it really hypocritical or immoral to be a member of an oppressed group and care only about your own success? Follow the logic and the only group with no obligations at all is the one with no experience of oppression – rich white men. Surely success for even one woman should be counted as a feminist victory.
What happened to the girlboss is symbolic of a clash between two strands of feminist thinking that run through the movement. Should you try to change society or should you help women navigate society as it is? Take, for example, the perennial issue of whether police should warn women not to drink too much on nights out or go down dark alleys alone. Many feminists object to this as victim-blaming and failing to address the real problem: violent men.
The answer to the conundrum is that you need both. Push for change and help women in an imperfect world. Address male violence and warn women, too. Push for change in workplaces and celebrate women who succeed anyway. They are not incompatible.
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