'When we think of loss, and its attendant grief, we most often think of death. What we typically don’t think about is disappearing.' michaeljformica explains the differences.
Memory and rumination are the knives opening the wounds of our grief over and over.When we think of loss, and its attendant, and its similarly attendant grief. The difference between the two is, while death provides an ostensibly clear and definitive ending, disappearing leaves us lingering, walking the halls ofThere is a sense of permanence to death—an irrevocable finality that once we come to terms with, we can somewhat settle into, even if we are not quite ready, or willing, to accept it.
More poignant is when a friend, lover, partner, or spouse deliberately disappears, at the sufferance of something we may perceive as within their control. A person may purposefully remove themselves from a relationship with no cause or preamble, leaving the person disappeared upon to wonder what prompted the other’s choice.
In either case, the person is still available somewhere, out there, but has made themselves inaccessible, or, at the very least, pointedly unavailable. While this doesn’t necessarily amplify the loss, it certainly lends it gravity—and.
Ghosting and deliberate disappearing build in a certain physical, and, by association, social and emotional distance. Even more distressing, and, in some ways, most heartbreaking, is when the person who disappears remains physically present. We might think about this asVery often, present-disappearing happens within the context of physical or mental illness.
or anhedonia, although it may appear as such. It’s more a loss of aliveness impacting not only the person themself but, more poignantly, those in their immediate social orbit.
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