The Eve 6 Guy, Max Collins, answers two very different letters about friends and friendship.
Hi, Blender Heads. This installment of the column is all about challenging friendships. One involving a person who may be on a self-destructive path and another that has seemingly grown cold due to distance and emotional burdens.The Weather Man
She says she isn’t the jealous type. She’s a Taurus, by the way. She's also insecure. She gave herself the supervillain name “The Heartbreaker.” She also said she wants to be loved. It is exceedingly frustrating to watch people we care about make choices we know will be injurious to them and others. When you love a person, whether they’re a friend or romantic partner or whatever, you are connected with them. You have an idea of what motivates them. You know their fears, traumas, joys, and sadnesses much like you know your own. You feel an impulse and even an obligation to move in and correct their course. It can feel like having a phantom limb that’s a whole human being.
I’m not equating this situation with yours, but you do need to prioritize your well-being, and if this person succeeds in pulling you into her tangled web to the detriment of your mental health, it might be necessary to apply some boundaries — or even, possibly, cut her out altogether. Our friendship is a deep one. She knows things about me no one else knows. For well over a decade, we’ve shared details of our lives and our kids’ lives. We’ve been through breakups together. We’ve talked each other down from our respective ledges.
This is not the first time I feel like I’m doing all the heavy lifting in this friendship. I’ve been upset about this before. But this is the first time where it feels like she’s actively ignoring me, and I really think our relationship has become a burden to her, just another thing on her very full to-do list to check off when she can.
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