What started as a useful tip on social media has turned the US psychologist and mum of three into a parenting phenomenon and the voice of reason for a generation of young mums and dads
alking to Dr Becky Kennedy today requires flexibility – the kind of flexibility that many of us parents have had to hone pretty well during the pandemic. My five-year-old daughter is off from school with her first bout of Covid, which means I have to take Kennedy’s Zoom call from the bedroom. Kennedy’s own seven-year-old daughter is also at home with a fever and sore throat; luckily her husband has stepped in to help oversee childcare, so she’s got an hour to speak.
She likes parents to put themselves in the position of their children and imagine how they might feel. She talks about a time she played a short game with her own daughter where the child got to set the rules.
Dr Becky also offers advice that is targeted at the unique problems millennial parents face, reframing some of the stereotypes we’ve become used to hearing in the media: that they’re snowflakes, suffer from a sense of entitlement and are glued to their devices.
“What you’re talking about is how we talk to our kids about hard truths,” she says. There are no set rules. “It’s not like at two you say this and at five you say this. It’s more… Where is my kid now in terms of talking about uncomfortable truths?” She points to the example of a family who might steer their children away from a rough sleeper to avoid talking about homelessness.
Regardless of criticisms, it’s hard to disagree that a sea change is happening regarding how parents build relationships with their children. The, which shares similar ideas to Kennedy’s about establishing a respectful bond between adults and children, and emerged from a similar place.
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