When writer ali_l_millar was 28, she walked away from her life as a Jehovah’s Witness, leaving behind her entire family, friends and sense of self.
When writer Ali Millar was 28, she walked away from her life as a Jehovah’s Witness, leaving behind her entire family, friends and sense of self. Here, she writes about the journey to rediscovering who she was outside of the “controlling” community she was raised in.
I was 28 years old when I walked home from my final meeting as a Jehovah’s Witness, knowing it would be my last. I opened my wardrobe and stuffed all my meeting and ministry clothes and sensible shoes into a black bin bag that I later heaved into the communal bin outside my flat. After facing a judicial committee, which is the religion’s internal disciplinary procedure in which three elders made me confess my sins to them before deciding I was still allowed to remain part of the religion, I was increasingly ostracised by members of the congregation. It culminated one day when I was told by an elder that I’d never have God’s favour.
As summer turned to autumn, I spent Sunday mornings walking to the cinema instead of the Kingdom Hall, the Witness meeting place. I’d sit in the dark watching films, no longer having to care if they had swearing,in them. On the way home I’d visit secondhand bookshops, no longer worrying if the books had something taboo in them. I began to actively welcome things previously forbidden. I started going to gigs, standing at first at the side, and then slowly making friends.
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