If getting under someone else is what you choose, there is no shame.
. “Firstly, it’s important to give yourself time to mend. When you’re alone for the first time in a long time, the thought of doing things on your own – or with a stranger – can be difficult. Give yourself time to reestablish your sense of self and build your confidence back up.”
After the initial blow of shock and sadness began to subside, I did what any twentysomething fresh out of a relationship and looking for a rebound to fill the void would do — I. Tinder and Hinge, to be precise. And after a few accidental"superlikes" and false starters , the conversations started flowing. But when it came to arranging dates, and the thought that, at some point, this could be the first person I would sleep with after my break-up, I became hesitant.
. “It’s going to feel different being with someone new, and not having that foundation of trust and intimacy to fall back on,” she says. “Be gentle with yourself, and take it slow. Take a little extra time getting to know people, and figuring out if there's at least a basic level of trust and comfort.”For me, after getting to know a Hinge match over endless glasses of wine and one very embarrassing pub quiz, I agreed when he invited me back to his flat in Brixton.
“Having sex with someone new after a relationship can be a great opportunity to rediscover your needs and desires,” says Vanessa. “Despite how successful your sex life was in a relationship, a lot of couples tend to fall into routines of doing things in the same way. Being with someone new may remind you of things you used to like.”, there’s no doubt that, for me, it was a positive step towards healing and rebuilding my confidence in this new, uncertain life stage.
And that’s the key to sex after a long-term relationship – you don’t need to know exactly how you feel or what you want; if it feels right at the time, go for it. Establishing a basic level of trust will help if your self-esteem is suffering, but don’t put pressure on yourself. Post-heartbreak, your only concern is youRead More Like This...
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