How to Train for Your First Flight in Two Years

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How to Train for Your First Flight in Two Years
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To prepare for your first flight in years, lock yourself in a small crate during an earthquake. Attempt to pee.

Make plans with a friend six months in advance. As you sit in the restaurant waiting to order, have her delay the plans by an hour, then eleven hours, before postponing them indefinitely.

Empty the contents of your purse and hold them as you also remove your shoes. In a standing position, put your shoes back on while still holding all your loose stuff.See how long you can surround yourself with the smells of food and not succumb to spending thirteen dollars on a small bag of pretzels.Sit in a toddler chair. Ask a total stranger to sit on your lap, and a different stranger to kick the back of your chair at sporadic intervals for the next few hours.

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