Comment: I adore my kids, but after 20 years I am tired of parenting
I have often been accused of favouring my youngest child, and whilst I’m not sure that’s fair, there is something special about that kid. She was conceived after a miscarriage and illness, many years after her siblings, and she was born just three weeks after the death of my sister. She’s an absolute delight, and I have never once regretted the decision to have her.But motherhood is only partially about love; unless you’re exceptionally wealthy, most of it is about labour.
I am 51 years old and have been focused on my children for over two decades. And I keep hearing that childhood passes in the blink of an eye – "the days are long, but the years are short!" people cry – I feel like I’ve been parenting for a century or more.I adore my kids. I cherish my youngest. But I’m fantasising relentlessly about freedom.
But my marathon isn’t over. I still have a 12-year-old. I have the long high school years ahead of me, and I feel like I’ve run out of steam. I adore my daughter. But motherhood is only partially about love; unless you’re exceptionally wealthy, most of it is about labour. Motherhood is about cleaning the house, providing food and clothing and resources, organising social activities, supervising studies. It is a constant, daily, unrelenting responsibility, in which your personal freedom is subsumed to the needs of another until they are able to care for themselves.
Is it the same for fatherhood? Perhaps for some. In two-parent families, however, women still do the majority of housework and
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