This man has told you how low to set your expectations, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith, so try to extinguish your crush
‘There is a limit to how much we can resent someone for failing to meet expectations that we alone created.’ Painting: The Stolen Kiss by Jean-Honore Fragonard, circa 1787.‘There is a limit to how much we can resent someone for failing to meet expectations that we alone created.’ Painting: The Stolen Kiss by Jean-Honore Fragonard, circa 1787.Last modified on Thu 11 Aug 2022 18.49 BST
It has felt like a “real” relationship at times, however, he can also be very immature. After being “casual” but seeing nobody but me for almost a year, he has recently had an encounter that left me feeling rejected, jealous and hurt, especially since I could hear everything. I made my feelings clear and he was very apologetic.
Granted, it’s not especially kind for this housemate to sleep with someone else next door . But if he’s always called this “casual” and he’s said he wants to see other people, then that’s the upper threshold of what it is: not especially kind. We don’t get to have much more than a flash of indignation or disappointment when someone tells us exactly how low to set our expectations and then precisely meets them.
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