'The very advice meant to empower moms leaves us questioning our abilities. The very advice meant to make our roles easier only adds to our mental load.'
I decided it was time to tune out the noise. Here’s what I’m doing instead.Once upon a time, social media was a delicious method of escape. In those days, I could balance my phone over a nursing baby and push back the boredom of endless cluster-feeds just by clicking an app. While my daughter latched and unlatched, I could take in expensive kitchen remodels, beach-side getaways, and book recommendations — trapped on my couch, sure, but free to roam digitally.
When these expert accounts first began cropping up, their presence felt like a lucky discovery. Who needed to read through pages of parenting books when all that knowledge was newly distilled into digestible nuggets of wisdom? The more I looked to these accounts, the more I discovered — pediatric dietitians, children’s therapists, toddler whisperers, potty training experts, and the like.
Then one afternoon, my second grader inadvertently shook me free. Having caught her little sister rearranging her dollhouse without permission, my oldest tipped the house forward, sending all its furniture sailing to the floor below.?” I huffed, my patience worn thin by a spate of squabbling and a now-hysterical preschooler in my arms.
And that’s when it struck me. The task at hand was not to absorb advice until my brain was rote with parenting expertise. Instead, my job was to protect this feeling of home that already existed; this fledgling memory of safety and comfort that had been busy nesting here in my girls’ childhood. My oldest tells me our home is a place that feels silly, safe, and comforting. And that’s what I always want it to be — for now, yes, but also far into the future where it exists only as memory.
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