You cannot kill the green-eyed monster, but try and use envy to inspire your own work, says Philippa Perry
I have recently come to the realisation that I am a deeply jealous person, which is causing me great unhappiness. I am envious of all my friends, my girlfriend, the stream of people I see through my social media and of anyone I deem to even have a modicum of “success” or talent. Any positive attribute I see in someone else becomes an attribute I don’t possess and therefore a negative mark on my scorecard.
You are not your thoughts, you are the observer of them: begin to identify more with the observer part of you than the part thinking these thoughts. Practise this. And until you have more control over your mind by this practice, delete social media from your phone.At the moment, you are seeing someone else’s success personally, as though it reflects on you and isn’t just to do with them. You see their external successes and compare that to your own internal feelings of inadequacy.
I wonder, when growing up, whether you were in the habit of viewing yourself as inferior or superior to a sibling. That may have become something of a blueprint for living for you. If so you might now be transposing this on to all your relationships. It’s only a formed habit. You can form new habits.
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